Veldie Tells All: The Vagina Highway To Life

Hi everyone! Veldie here. Court’s magnificent Metaphysical Vagina installation to the Curls blog has inspired me to put a little bit of myself out there for the blog as well. Also, I’ve got a few glasses of wine in me, so I can let the verbage flow. Boom.

I’m not gonna lie. I had to google the word “Metaphysical” to find out what it meant. Upon reading the definition, I didn’t feel so bad for not knowing anything about it. It’s obscurity at its best and since I’ve never taken a philosophy course, I’m ok with feeling a bit removed from the trancendental ideas that Court is implementing. Plus, I’m a realist. I’m grounded. I can really relate to what we physical experience on this physical earth.

So that leaves me to blog about one very obvious thing in response to Court’s brilliant Metaphysical Vagina installation: my very own birth.

First of all, think about this: We’ve all touched a vagina unless we were torn from our mother’s uterus by a latex glovened doctor. (Please let “glovened” be a word) For those of us who were lucky enough to be pushed out of the birth canal, we’ve all got something in common. And even those of us who were removed surgical-style were very well on our way down the vagina path before modern medicine intervened. Vaginas are the highway to life.

My life in particular began during a perilous snowstorm that pop-culture writer Chuck Klosterman profiled in his fictional book Downtown Owl. If you look through the first pages of the book, you’ll find a copy of an article from the Fargo Forum dated February 5th, 1984; my birthday. The article summarizes a freak snowstorm that ended up killing four people on Fargo’s 19th Avenue. Four people isn’t much as far as fatalities go, but I was born at home on a table cloth because of that shit.

I happen to be at an age now where friends are having babies and I’m learning the real deal about what childbirth entails. For my entire life I’ve known that I was born on the comfort of a waterbed. What I didn’t know was that when women give birth to babies, there are gallons of fluid that escape their bodies during the process. There is tearing. There are breadbags that need to be filled with snow to control the bleeding…

In the end, I took the Vagina Highway and burst into this world as naturally as one could burst. In the years since, I’ve heard countless stories of the day I was born; not necessarily because I was entering unto a new life, but because of the circumstances under which I entered. While it hasn’t inspired a song yet, the storm was enough to cause Chuck to write a book based in its setting. As the newest Dirty Curl, I can only hope that it can inspire some great tunes about the courage my mom and so many others have had to push an eight pound piece of flesh out of her life-giving vagina.

So that’s my realist approach to the Metaphysical Vagina; we all came into this world in a similar way, but we each have our own story that is influenced by circumstance. Mine is a freak snow storm. What’s yours?

Metaphysical Vagina!: Lida Husik

You might be wondering where we get our ideas for songs.  You may not care. “Just make it funny and sexy, Curls!”  Well, doy.  But for those of you with cat-like curiosity, please follow me into the dusty recesses of our mind grapes.

Introducing a new feature on our blog:  “Metaphysical Vagina!”  It was going to be called “Where We Come From,” but I decided that wasn’t funny enough. Basically, it’s the place where we’ll talk about our influences, be they comedic or musical or just life-living inspiration. I don’t know about you, but I love to hear from where the artists I love get their groove, you know?  What’s the source of such genius????  Well, now you’re gonna know.

Our first subject is the amazing and undeservedly obscure indie-pop goddess Lida Husik.  I just rediscovered her while listening to the library on shuffle.

She’s not a comedy act, she’s pure chill 90s indie-rock vibration.  Her voice is a low purring nasally alto that slides up to a fuzzy, soft mezzo.  Her harmonies are weird and gorgeous; her chord progressions and arrangements take you by surprise; her lyrics are about everything and nothing, but mostly the moments of life in a big city.  I wouldn’t know to whom I could compare her, but RIYL Ride, perhaps?  Charlatan’s UK? Mazzy Star?  I feel like all these groups have their overlap with Lida Husik, but they don’t really share genres… I don’t know.  Maybe you can tell me!  Shoot, Lida does reggae!

I discovered Lida back in the mid-90s (when I was in preschool.  Not really).  The first song of hers I ever heard was called “Dissolve” and in those days I was experimenting with some different mind-altering substances (it WAS preschool!).  “Dissolve” just hit that radiant inner gong in yer gut.  Give it a listen.

And then I found a bulk of her discography on Amazon and paid less than $7 for the used lot of it.  Which now I feel a little guilty about because she’s probably the kind of amazingly talented artist that could use the cash.  How do I know?  Because when I wrote her a fangirl email a few years back addressed to “Lida, or Lida’s people”, she responded:

hi courtney,
my people, ha! i only wish my cats could type for me!
i really enjoyed your comedy on myspace, and i think musically you’d love al duvall have you heard his stuff? http://www.myspace.com/alduvall
and thanks a lot for kind words about my music, i’m planning on recording some new shit very soon, and have been working with christine shields here in sacramento. http://www.myspace.com/christinephrisgneshields
i’m alot better at backing up others than spewing my own songs in front of humans, i’ve decided, but i might do it again if the circumstances are right…like if i’m behind a black curtain with a bag over my head.  just never feel happy up there. but i love to record so i hope to have a full length out on digital and vinyl in the next year or so.
thanks for writing and as my dad always said, keep up the good work!
lida

How awesome is that?!?  It still makes my life.  She’s one of my very favorite artists in the whole world, fer serious.

Anyway, here’s a few You Tube links that only begin to embody the amazing breadth of her work:

There’s a small collection of her songs here on Last FM.

More Metaphysical Vagina! on its way… including, of course, Steve Martin, Tori Amos, our buddies Valley Meadows, Kristen Wiig, Tina Fey, Lily Thomlin, Amy Sedaris… the list goes on and on.  And probably includes non-artists like ice cream, sexy underwear, and Koosh balls.

The Love Show! EP is HERE!

You GUYS.  I love calling you “you guys,” even if you’re not technically “guys.”  But “guys” means “people” now, not just men.  What?  I digress.

THE LOVE SHOW!  EP IS HERE!

IT IS FREE!  

WE WANT YOU TO LISTEN!  NOW!

okay, I will stop yelling now.  But, for a lot of you, this is brand new Dirty Curls music.  For a lot of you in the Twin Cities… well, the 666 of you that saw the show (I KNOW!  Six Hundred and Sixty Six people came to see “The Love Show!” It couldn’t be more perfect, honestly), for a lot of you, I am sure the wait has been AGONIZING!

For those fans outside the Twin Cities that may have not either been paying attention during August or whatever the case, lemme give you a little backstory:

The Curls applied for the Minnesota Fringe Festival, our lil’ annual performing arts festival here in the Twin Cities, and decided to do a show about love that would be suitable for younger people.  We probably only hit the PG-13 and above crowds, but the show was a lot more Fringe-friendly than we anticipated: we got the Audience Choice performance – the highest-selling show in each venue gets a bonus 6th show – and we stayed at a glorious 5-star (out of 5) average throughout the fest AND we landed as the 7th-highest reviewed show of the festival (“TBD” doesn’t count – it’s a fake show).  It was easily my most successful Fringe show… just read what people were saying!

“Everyone should see this show because the more people who see it, the better the world will be. I went in full of piss and vinegar and walked out full of joy and love – wanting to sing to my cat while growing out my pubic hair.” – Twin Cities actor extraordinaire, John Middleton.

“An incredible concept executed with grace and honesty. These ladies are onto something with tremendous potential. They need an agent and a record contract. Now. Men and women alike will want to be balls deep in dirty curls by the end of the show. See ’em now before they hit the big time!” – Audience review

“Rarely do I laugh this hard, for this long. A wonderfully crafted show, with high energy and enough quirk for weeks. It started strong and delivered on the promise. A banjo, guitar and ukelele: that’s love!! I may have peed myself (just a little) during the baby rap. So worth it!” – Audience Review

Whatever.  Just start listening to the EP.  You will love it, we know it.  And if you were one of the 666 people that got to see the show, THANK YOU!

Share this with your friends!  It certainly is yours for the taking – FREE – if you want it.  If you feel like giving us a little dough, that’s okay too.  We *are* going on tour at the end of December and could use some funds for that, but there is no obligation whatsoever!!  I sound like Sally Struthers or some shit.  Just download it already.

All Gratitude, All the Time.

It’s Thanksgiving morning, y’all, and I, Courtney McClean, am up quite early for a holiday with no presents under a tree.  It’s a beautiful fall morning here in Minnesota; I’m now outside in the backyard typing this up in my pjs.  Don’t you wish you had a picture.

I personally have a lot to be grateful for this year, especially around this band.  Ever since Ray Ray and Anna Dubs joined me just under a year after the old incarnation of the Curls broke up, things have been gliding upwards into the heavens.  Being surrounded by the talent of those two, and then Anna Pop and Cherry Mae, and now Veldie… it’s magical.  I love all these ladies so much.  Their contributions to this project are invaluable and immeasurable and I am forever indebted to all of them.  Thank you so much, Curls.

A big thank you to our guests too – Charlie, who filled in on guitar for a couple shows on the summer, who was so young and sweet and picked everything up really quickly, thank you.

To Kevin, our guest bassist who will be making more appearances come the new year, your talent, ingenuity, and low notes give us a strong backbone when you join us.  Thank you!

To Marne & Nicole, who’s sweet harmonies and musicality helped launch this thing into gorgeous bluegrass outer space.

Thank you to my other ex-bandmates… without that experience, I would not know what I need in a band and the kind of people I want to work with.  It’s all invaluable lessons every time you pop up in my life.  I am grateful for that time because it has helped to make this band what it is today.

And finally, thank you so much to all our friends and fans who come to the shows, read our posts, listen to our music, watch our videos, comment and share our stuff with others; thank you for helping to spread the gospel and laughing and singing along at our shows.  You seriously make this ridiculously amazing thing even more amazing.

2013 is going to hold some incredible stuff for all of us, Curls and Curlfriends!  We will be releasing a new album in the spring. Our January residency at Amsterdam Bar & Hall is going to be off the hook.    We’re touring with Valley Meadows for a few days at the end of December, so hopefully that means we’ll garner Curlfriends in nearby states and can really get the ball rolling on our “low-level national fame,” which is my immediate goal for this group.  Well, after just making y’all laugh first.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.  Make it a great day with friends and/or family.  Remember that no matter what hardships you’re going through, there is always the other side which you will come out on if you keep your eyes on the prize.  I have.  And this other side is simply spectacular.  Much love to you all.

Veldie Tells It All.

You guys. Remember a few months back when we introduced our new guitarist and singer Veldie?  Welp, she’s gonna be up in this here internet joint (that’s our website, the thing you’re reading right now) writin’ some posts for your entertainment, bemusement, and otherwise pleasurable -ments.   You can watch her sexy mouth move in the video on our Sing-A-Long page, but keep reading for a nugget of wisdom you won’t soon forget.

So, with no further adieu, Veldiez Velderstofferson:

Not to be a let down everyone, but words are hard to come by when I’m sober. Don’t worry! The holiday season is right around the corner. And with it comes a party. In my brain.

There you have it, people.  Brevity is the soul of wit.

Stay tuned for much more of this and lesser brilliance.

 

Veldie doesn’t want you to see her right now, even though you can here and here.

Hey Joe Biden!

FOUR MORE YEARS!
OF THIS SONG!

So, I finally got the girls (or 3/5 of us… it was last minute and late!) to record this song for all the world to watch us play because, doy, it’s TOPICAL!  Hope you love it; a lot of people seem to!  Which means you are a freak of nature if you don’t love it.

FEARLESS? If you call wearing a merkin in public “fearless,” then, yeah.

Curlfriends!  How goes it?  So, you may have noticed a new lil’ addition to our site: the dude with the blindfold right there to the left of this post (well, just on the home page, apparently).  That button there means we’re now partners with Fearless Comedy Productions, a brand-new Twin-Cities-based arts nonprofit.

Why?  Well, Fearless’ mission is all about bringing comedy to the stage that ain’t skeered, ya know?  Not just cringe humor, but artful, intelligent comedy… or not… that pushes the envelope, makes you feel uncomfortable, makes you blush, and makes you laugh.  Sounds a lot like what The Dirty Curls do!

We’re really excited for this new collaboration.  We’ll be playing the Fearless Comedy Productions fundraiser on Jan. 12 at Amsterdam Bar & Hall and we’d love to see you there.  More details soon!  But mostly, we’re excited to work with other artists and lovers of comedy to bring more of the public new perspectives on life through laughter.

And damn, are we in good company.  Partnered already with Fearless is the atheist podcast “Geeks Without God,” the podcast-about-everything “Apropos Of Nothing,” the funniest blog in Minnesota or on the Internet, “Young Notions,” and the Renaissance Fest-Famous stage ruffians, insult-comedy mega-group Vilification Tennis. That’s quite a dream team, especially if you’re a nerd in the Twin Cities metro area.

So, anyway, that’s the dude in the blindfold.  Get it, he’s FEARLESS!  Keep your eyes here for announcements about collaborations with Fearless & The Curls!  We’re chomping at the bit.