Raging Heart Boners: TOUR! Part 1!

Raging Heart Boners: that is the best way we have found to describe what Weggs, Veldie, Zach, Chris, Cahak, and I felt for each other by New Year’s Eve.  We had just spent the past 5 days together in a big-ass cargo van traveling to just as many cities in the Upper Midwest on our lil’ comedy tour.

We have always considered Valley Meadows (comics Zach Coulter and Chris Knutson as MC Tom Johnson and Gary Schinscynshozzlkdaoindga;ldkdinagldskj, Mr. S, respectively) our brother band.  So when they asked us to join them on this tour, of course we were like, “You guys payin’?”  Jk.  We were all, “OMG YES YES YES A HUNDRED ZILLION TIMES YES!!”

So we did it. From Thursday, Dec. 27 till Dec. 31, we shuttled ourselves across a lil’ part of this magnificent tundra, sharing our gospel of “groove and guffaw” (I just made that up; we would never agree on something so awful).  And it was… amazing.  Fucking fun as unicorn poop cookies.  Hence, there will more tours.  I promise to let you know AHEAD of time about them.

By the by, this post has a LOT of pictures (yay!), but you can see the bulk of everyone’s pics on Instagram HERE!

Thursday afternoon I met Weggs, Cahak and Chris at a gas station, loaded into the van and we were on our way to meet Veldie and Zach, who were already in Fargo for family Christmastime.

K-Nuts' dreamy eyes in the rearview.

K-Nuts’ dreamy eyes in the rearview.

It's really cold outside which is why Weggs looks so chill.  WAH WAH

It’s really cold outside which is why Weggs looks so chill. WAH WAH

Cahak

Cahak texts… or Instagrams… or Facebooks… or writes a joke…

We pulled up to Big D’s in Fargo (their phone number is 241-4FUN, btw… it’s no lie) to their huge flashing marquee  which said this:

photo by Cahak on Instagram.  @andrewcahak, yo.

photo by Cahak on Instagram. @andrewcahak, yo.

BOO YAH!  We are so big time.  At least, Valley Meadows is.  Our name wasn’t on the marquee, but we didn’t care!  Same show!  So fucking awesome!!

After meeting Veldie (and her adorable mom) and Zach (with his lady, the incredible Amber Preston, in tow), The Curls donned their matching sequin dresses and we set up our merch tables.  The club tables were filling up… we were about to have our first show on tour and it was already getting hot inside from all the sexy North Dakotan bodies ready for some comedy music!

Valley Meadows at their merch.

Valley Meadows at their merch.

Andrew hosted the show and got the nice, big crowd riled up for the first act: our new best comedy music buddies, The Kamikaze Snowmen.

The Kamikaze Snowmen!!

The Kamikaze Snowmen!!

What a treat these guys are!  They’re hilarious and musically talented.  Please do check them out (and come see them when they play The Sauce Comedy Show in Minneapolis on February 3!) and subscribe to their podcast!  You shall be thoroughly entertained.  Like you may be with this TOTALLY IMPROVISED song about Back To The Future we played with them.

RIGHT?  McClean used to be a HUGE Michael J. Fox fan when she was a wee lass, so, yeah, she knows a lot about the movie.  Thankfully this was just about the first movie as she’s only seen the second one once and never seen #3.  I know, sacrelige.  Sacreligue?  Sacre bleu.  Anyway, this jam was tons of fun as you can see.

Then we Curls took the stage and charmed the pants off the Great White North with our usual fare…

Photo by @andrewcahak.  Curls at Big D's!

Photo by @andrewcahak. Curls at Big D’s!

Then, the moment everyone was waiting for (thanks to the big ass marquee)… Valley Meadows!  And of course they rocked our faces.

MC Tom is so chill when setting up the Auto Tune.

MC Tom is so chill when setting up the Auto Tune.

Valley Meadows can do no wrong.

Valley Meadows can do no wrong.

The show was an absolute BLAST and totally set the bar WAY high for tour, which was only met afterwards by the aforementioned raging heart boners that grew for one another.  Not that the other shows sucked – far from it – but Big D’s definitely was the best show of the tour, IMHO.

Afterwards, we hung out in the bar and recorded a podcast episode with The Snowmen.  But before recording (in which Weggs states “I have my coat on!” which means she was ready to GO), we got some drinkies and met the locals.  One of which was Amber Preston’s little sister Hilary and her boyfriend, Josh, who played for the New Orleans’ Saints before he was injured.  He was a super sweet dude… and mighty handsome too.  Meow, football players!

IMG_0433

Josh Gatlin of the NO Saints!! WHO DAT???

McClean also got to meet Tarynn_Christine, who has over 10,000 followers on Instagram!  What the what?  Go check out her photos though; they’re all pretty beautiful.  As was she!  And she bought Court, like, three drinks, so McClean was well on her way to slosh-ville.  Thank goodness K-Nuts was driving!

We arrived at our classy Super 8 motel room (or was it Motel 6? who knows.  At any rate, there was NO INDOOR POOL.  boo!) and everyone but Zach crashed (he stayed with Amber for one more night at the Preston homestead).  All the while, we heard people coming and going through the unlocked side door of the hotel ALL NIGHT!  Hookers, anyone?  I can’t blame them; it’s the tundra.  Sometimes you need a loose pussy to keep you warm.  Speaking of loose pussies, Veldie and I shared a bed and Cahak and K-Nuts shared the other one.  Weggs was well-prepared with her camping gear and dozed off on a mat and sleeping bag on the floor.  What a trooper!

The next day, we got up bright and early to make what would be our longest trek of the tour: Fargo to Cedar Rapids, Iowa!  Of course, what was meant to be a 7-hour trip turned into 10 hours with pit-stops n stuff.  We drove through Minneapolis too, which felt weird because we were on TOUR!

IMG_0444

Hola, Minneapolis!

To Cedar Rapids!  With Love!

To Cedar Rapids! With Love!

Icy north Minnesota roads!

Icy north Minnesota roads!

And it was on this second day of tour that a dangerous trend took place… taking pictures of ourselves while making boom boom!  I.E., taking a poo.  And then texting them to each other.

McClean, on the toilet in a Flying J or something.

McClean, on the toilet in a Flying J or something.

We also nicknamed Chris Knutson “Dad.”

Cedar Rapids leg coming up next!!

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