Merch! Album Update!

Hey Curlfriends!

It’s high time you head on over to our Bandcamp because now we’re selling MERCH!  Yeah!  We’ve got some sexy shirts with crew or deep-V necklines, tote bags, and some “merkins!” They’re not actual pubic wigs, they’re undies with “pubes,” but I decorated them myself and I’ve already sold two, so apparently they’re worth it.

Look at how well I accessorize.

Look at how well I accessorize.

And what’s that design on the shirts and totes, you ask?  Why, it’s Sarah Hedlund Illustration‘s cover art for our upcoming album from Stand Up! Records, “This One’s For Dad,” but it’s Courtney’s bastardized tracing of it.  For simplicity. But check out Sarah’s artwork… we are SO. EXCITED.

IT'S EMBROIDERED.

IT’S EMBROIDERED.

When the eff is our album coming out anyway?  WELL. This is where we’re at right now:

All the songs are done. Final mixes in the can. However, Steve, our amazing sound engineer (and member of one of our brother bands, Beneath The Crow), kept the tape rolling between takes. And, as a comedy band, we’ve all got fiery senses of humor, so there was a ton of hilarious little snippets of banter.  I am really hoping to include a large handful of this on the record as I think it’s a great insight into our magical kismet as bandmates and is indicative of everyone’s individual personality.  I just hope it’s not only entertaining to us!  So, after that, we get approval from Dan at Stand Up!, then we master that shit, send it back to Dan, print it up.  So close.  I think we’re just a little over two months out, at the most. Yes, it’s fucking exciting.

No official release date yet, but I’m aiming for April 1 or April 20.  Shut up. And then we’ll have CDs and mp3s available too.

Oh, and we just finished filming our video for “Hey, Joe Biden!.”  Update on that coming up tomorrow!

Metaphysical Vagina: Lil’ Kim’s “Hardcore”

In case you forget what “Metaphysical Vagina” is, it’s The Curls’ series of what/where/who-ever we’ve been . You can click on the tag at the bottom of the post and if the internet does its job, you’ll be directed to all the 2 or 3 MVs we’ve done over the past two years. ANYWAY.

As you can see by the title, today’s Metaphysical Vagina from whence I came is an album I was obsessed with at age 19, Lil’ Kim’s “Hardcore.”

Don't google what she looks like now, guys. I'm serious. DON'T.

Don’t google what she looks like now, guys. I’m serious. DON’T.

A few weeks ago, I discovered the tape player in my 1995 Camry works, thanks to my roommate who had been borrowing my car and left a tape in it.  Days later, I’m cleaning the pad when I discover the cassette mixes I had made when I was in college titled “(1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th) Year Oddities.” And hoo boy, the memories young Courtney so astutely had the forethought to save in these aural time capsules.  

One song in particular caught my attention – “Big Momma Thang,” by Lil’ Kim from her Hardcore album from 1997.  The thick, buttery, swirling opening beats and loops underneath Kim’s signature alto Kimmy-from-the-block growl transported my white ass back to when I was a dropped-jaw virgin listening to the filthiest things I had ever heard from a woman’s – or anyone’s – mouth.  And suddenly it all made sense.

Please to read the dirty, filthy, amazing lyrics:

I used to be scared of the dick
Now I throw lips to the shit
Handle it like a real bitch
Heather Hunter, Janet Jack-me
Take it in the butt, yah, yazz wha
I got land in Switzerland, even got sand in the Marylands
Bahamas in the spring, baby, it’s a Big Momma thing
Can’t tell by the diamonds in my rings
That’s how many times I wanna cum, twenty-one
And another one, and another one, and another one
24 carats nigga
That’s when I’m fuckin wit’ the average nigga
Work the shaft, brothers be battin’ me, and oh
Don’tcha like the way I roll
And play wit’ my bushy
Tell me what’s on your mind when your tongue’s in the pussy
Is it marriage 
Baby carriage 
Shit no, on a dime shit is mine
Got to keep ’em comin’ all the time 

Case closed.

Upcoming Shows This Weekend: VALENTINE’S DAY!

Valentine’s Day. Whether you love it, hate it, or don’t give a shit, it just makes sense that it would be a busy weekend for us.  In a couple of ways.  First off, we’re filming our music video for “Hey, Joe Biden!”  Like, the official one, with the official new and beautiful recording behind it. It’s going to be so super sexy. 

Also, seeing as we’re a band that sings about sex and love, we have TWO shows this weekend!  Well, we’re playing sets in two different “game shows.”  

Sextravaganza Slam-Style Pun Contest from Modern Antics

It’s a show where funny people make sex puns! And Courtney & Anna are playing!

 

First, there’s Sextravaganza! The Sex Pun Slam at Club Underground on Friday, Feb. 14 (V-Day!) at 9pm. 

 

Anna & Court

Anna & Court! “… on a park bench, under the moon and the stars”

It’s just Courtney & Anna for this show. Doors are at 8pm and the show kicks off at 9pm with us!  Then Anna has to take off, and Court will be doing solo sets between rounds.  It’s sure to be an amazing time.  

Also, Stand Up! Records labelmate and hilarious comedian Chris Maddock is one of the punners.  This is a delicious cherry on top of this Sex Pundae.  SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

Mr. Madoo

This is Chris Maddock. You can already see he’s a comedic genius. See him pun off this Friday at Sextravaganza!

Our other show this weekend is at the Caffetto Dating Game on Feb. 15, starting at 7pm!

 

Image

Say it fast 3 times

 

 It’s going to be all the Curls BUT Anna for this one. We’ll be playing sets intermittently throughout the show while people who want some lovin’ in their life play the classic game your parents grew to love. The show starts around 7pm and will go till about 11pm and we’ll be there all night. Come on out! 

Curls No Anna

We’re all faking happiness because Anna’s not in this picture.

These are our LAST SHOWS in the Twin Cities for a while, probably till our CD Release show (Details TBA! Hang tight!).

Hope to see you there and come say hi!