Curlfriends, The Dirty Curls are going to be the pre-show entertainment for this month’s Rocky Horror Picture show at The Uptown Theater!
Show is at MIDNIGHT on June 30 (get there late on June 29 for a good seat! Doors open at 11:45pm) and we’ll rock it out with a short set of naughtybilly for your aural pleasure and then… The Rocky Horror Picture Show! In all of its nerdy, sexy glory.
Buy your tickets here and come on out! It’s gonna be a blast.
This episode of Metaphysical Vagina is about Steve Martin.
DUH. Right? Big mutherfuckin’ DUH.
Of COURSE Steve Martin is an inspiration and OF COURSE he would be featured as one of our first Metaphysical Vaginas because he plays banjo. And he’s a comedian. A comedian that plays banjo. Isn’t that so obvious?
Maybe what isn’t obvious (and still might not be) is THIS:
This is STEVE MARTIN:
I do my little turn on the catwalk.
And this? Is MY FATHER!!!
And my mom. Cute, huh?
No, I’m not saying that Steve Martin is my father (or my mother), but he is definitely my soul brother and part of that reason is because he has always reminded me of my dad. WHOSE NAME IS ALSO STEVE.
Technically, my dad’s name is Stephen (three guesses on the last name and that’ll explain why a lot of people thought I was Steve McQueen’s daughter. Not really, but kind of). But everyone calls him Steve, except for my mother, who usually says it like this: “STEE-VVENN!” I guess you should hear it. This one time we were at Round Table Pizza in Yorba Linda off Lakeview and YL Blvd and my father didn’t want to give them his real name for them to shout when our pizza was ready because he knew that they’d shorten it to Steve and there would be 5 other Steves there. So he told them his name was Nigel. That’s my dad.
Growing up, my father had Steve Martin records and I knew the song “King Tut” by heart by the time I was 9 or something. Which I guess isn’t that impressive. I think someone I knew danced to the song in a dance recital once. My father would also do impressions of Steve Martin (and Andy Kaufman, and the Monty Python dudes) so I became familiar with his comedy that way too.
So, in the grand collective unconscious in which we wade, My Two Steves collided and bestowed upon me with the very twisted and demented sense of humor you have hopefully grown to love. I know my father has a little bit of a hard time with his daughter singing about blow jobs, etc, but well, I don’t know what you could have done differently, Dad! In my humble opinion, I think you did it all right.
Happy Father’s Day to you, Steves!
The False Idol: Mr. Martin gets the bedroom wall… my dad gets the fridge.
Why, good morning, Curlfriends! Is it really before 6AM on a Friday morning? Yes, yes it is. Why have I been up for about 2 hours? I don’t know. But my throat hurts from singin’ and smokin’ (SHUT UP I KNOW) and I’ve been asleep since 10pm last night, so it’s time for me to rise. At least till nap time.
SO, on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, we played two of our favorite Twin Cities venues, Kitty Cat Klub & 331 Club, and both shows were a ton of fun.
I love the KCK so much for its atmosphere; lush, tattered velveteen couches in slate blues and pinks (or maybe that’s just the lights), large paintings in baroque frames, an expansive space with plenty of room for chilling or watching music or playing billiards in the back. But, it being a Tuesday night, the large venue seemed vacuous with only about 20 people in attendance, and most of them sitting outside on such a beautiful night! But we definitely had some new fans enraptured at the bar and I think the bartender and barback enjoyed the set too. The door guy bought a CD! I think when the people working the venue enjoy your stuff, when they’ve heard countless of other bands, that’s a great compliment.
At one point, we only had like three people watching us, but the KCK’s sound system is wired through the entire space, so at one point I just asked that people let us know they’re listening. We got some hearty “woooos” from the other rooms. OKAY THEN! Let the funny continue.
I missed The Bitterroot Band at the opening (they opened our Cabooze show too!), but caught most of Colleen Myhre‘s set. She’s very different from us, but talented and her songs are lovely. Check her out!
The next night at the 331 Club we played with our brother Hell-billy band, Armstrong Clawhammer. If you haven’t experienced these guys live, DO IT! They even have a dude tapdancing to their music. He’s not like got a cane and a top hat, but he provides some pretty subtle beats. But aside from that, AC will rock your face off with their fast country hijinks and ditties about whiskey, smoke, and pussy. This was our second time performing with them and it won’t be our last!!
The crowd at the 331 was a little bigger. I love 331 because it’s a neighborhood bar with good foot traffic, so we got some unexpected new fans. It’s so fun to watch a person discover The Dirty Curls while we play. The looks on their faces of “What did she just say?” make my show, every time. It’s so much fun to shock you guys. Because by the end of our set, I just don’t think we can anymore.
Armstrong Clawhammer kills it!
Kevin’s totally not planned photobomb.
Steve from AC, Sean, and Tyler from AC
Another video from Fearless Comedy Productions and Bob Alberti! This one’s for our newest song, “Pity Phuck.” NSFW lyrics, obvy. Enjoy!
Mr. Bob Alberti from Fearless Comedy Productions came out to the Cabooze and taped us doin’ our thing! This video is missing the ending to the song, but if you don’t know the song already, you will!
As you may or may not have heard (maybe out-of-staters aren’t up to speed on local Minnesota news; that’s cool), Governor Dayton just signed marriage for EVERYONE into law yesterday. And a great, big bunch of us are just so happy we finally have caught up to the rest of the progressive states. I personally hate that we even VOTE on marriage, but as there is the civil side to it, we do and we won.
Last year, I did a house fundraiser for Minnesota United for All Families. Of course I played “Gay For You,” but I also wrote a little ditty about love and everyone’s right to have who they want in their life to love and sometimes, want to smother with a pillow. C’mon, you’ve never wanted to make your loved one STFU already? I mean, that’s what love is all about. Your soulmate will do or say something that is so infuriating you get a flash of homicidal tendency, but because you love them more than life itself, you get over it. At least, that is my wish for you. So, the song is about whomever is singing it and how they knew the subject of the song was the One and they just want to have all the same rights to love them like anyone else. Enjoy!
We are so proud of Minnesota for making marriage available for all its citizens!
Well, folks, now we’ve played the motherfuggin’ Cabooze. I’ve played on the same stage as Snoop Dogg. Next stop – actually playing with Snoop Dogg.
They spelled my name wrong. And were immediately forgiven.
Okay, that’s not the next stop, but why can’t it be a stop? If life is a subway train, you gotta make stops along the way before you get to your destination, yeah? (Now I have this song stuck in my head. Click the link and you will too.) You guys, shut up. I’m a cheeseball and you love me for it. But seriously, what if they last stop is Snoop Dogg and The Cabooze is 1000 miles away from that, but I’ll eventually get to Snoop if I just stay on this train.
Oh, the italics! I have so much to emphasize today!
But seriously, do you get my point? This is why I’m still chugging away at something when I supposedly should have been married, owned a home, and popped out a couple of tykes by now. Not to imply having a home and a family isn’t many peoples’ dreams in our culture! I am doing comedy music in my mid-thirties for a few drinks and a chance to play on The Cabooze stage. Because each bigger stage means bigger chances, even if you were light years away from filling the place. And that’s my dream: making the masses laugh and living the life of a rockstar. With only the natural drugs, please. Okay, okay, synthetics here and there, once in a while. But I’m not fucking paying for them!
Enough of that crap. You came here to hear about the show. I’ll be talking about my missed chance to have a family a lot here (no emphasis mine), so I won’t vomit it all out in one fell swoop.
THE SHOW WAS AWESOME. We had a mere 25-30, maybe? people in the audience and in a place like The Cabooze, which has a capacity of about 1200 I think, that can seem like nobody. But what I need from an audience can come from one person: captivity. If The Curls are holding the audience hostage with laughter and shock and awe, we’ve done our job. And dammit, we did our job last night. We got a nice handful of new fans, methinks. Welcome to the world of the Curls, new Curlfriends! We’re so happy you’re here.
The Bitterroot Band opened up and we noticed they played the same instruments we had that night: banjo, upright bass, and guitar. And then the bass player, Vinnie, whipped out a fiddle! And then the guitar player clawhammered a banjo and the banjo player strummed a guitar! Love me some multi-talented musicians! They were wonderful and warmed up the audience really nicely for us. Please check them out and go see them when they’re playing around town! (And from their Facebook page, you can see they’re doing a mini Midwest tour, so keep an eye out, Iowa, Wisconsin, and Chicago!)
The Bitterroot Band!
Diet Folk was the headliner and by the time they got on stage, beers had been consumed for a couple of hours and the crowd had grown to about 100 people! There were many fans dancing and clapping and we were all having a great time. Our booker, Tony, is the banjo player (and plays guitar too) for Diet Folk and Saint Anyway and he’s amazing! He’s a nice guy and his bands are fabulous. We’re so lucky to be working with him!
That’s Tony in the foreground. Yes, he’s playing guitar, not banjo. He’s great at it!
Back to my original point, though, guys: ever since I realized that I am a musician, I have had little goal posts of places to play here in the Twin Cities. The 501 Club was one of them and we played there 3 times in 2010. The 331 Club was a goal, as was the Turf Club (we still need our own show there, though, for sure), and the Cabooze was a goal. Now, perhaps, First Ave! Comedy Music Festival at First Ave? LET’S DO THIS, MINNEAPOLIS!
Anyhooters, thank you Diet Folk and Bitterroot Band and The Cabooze for making a girl’s dream come true. One down, many more to go… to my destination.
